The Most Interesting Girl In the World!

I've been behaving(ish) myself the past month leading up to my big race.  Apparently, it is helpful to not destroy your body before you destroy your body with a half ironman. Recently my roommate said that because of the unique lifestyle I live, I am "the most interesting girl in the world."  While I know she was being facisious, I started remembering that hey, I'm not a bad catch. Hell, I'm actually pretty flippin cool. I'd bone me.  I'd at least take me on a date if nothing else. Why am I single? Oh ya, because I like to go on dates with "the most interesting guys ever" aka anti-commitment, young, hipster boys that have cool stories but no motivation to make things of their lives, especially in relationships.

Recently, I've been on a kick of hanging out with/hooking up with/stalking super fun, interesting guys.  We have a good time together. I start bossing them around. They do what I say. Then they suddenly tell me all about a girl that they are super into that is. not. me. WTF?! I mean, it happens once and I'm all "cool, I must come across as a super trustworthy, great listener and we are just friends." But then another time or two and I'm like "Uhhhhhh?? Do I have a sign on that says Please don't be into me and make sure you tell me who you love that is the total opposite of me?" I decided not to sweat this phase that I was going through. It's probably just that they realize that I am super busy being super interesting and they are afraid I won't have time for them.  I get that. I do. Now that I am done with my half ironman though, I have lots of time to use your money, cuddle, make you rub my back while watching chick flicks, and to boss you around. So bring on the dates!

Monday night I had a date with a Tinder dude.  His name is Patrick. In my phone his lastname is Triathlon.  That's because I don't know his last name and he told me he did a triathlon or two. He seemed a little tooooo eager about going out with me.  We've been texting for the past 3 weeks and I blew off two other dates with him because of training, and he still texted me novellas about how excited he was to meet me. He wanted to take me to Sitti on Monday and being ravenous from my race, I wanted to go. I get there and he has a cute, farm boy look and is a total gentleman. We get some food then decide to take a walk to grab a cocktail. I'm not feeling him already but on paper he is husband material - PhD in engineering, great body, family guy, drives a motorcycle. In real life, he is kind of boring. Oh well, free food and drinks. Except that the drinks are being consumed so slowly and I am getting tired. I am pretty sure I enjoyed the liquor lounge much more when I was chugging drinks with a silver fox a few months back and we decided a first date of getting shit faced would be memorable. Date ends. I'm pretty sure we leave with a mutual feeling of no second date. Bummer, because I have a few restaurants Id like to go to and he seems like a foodie.

Wednesday's date (errr, I don't think I should even call it a date) is with a dude, who calls me "homie" when he talks to me.  I met him at a bonfire where he was making out with some rando and I was busy being awkward between my neighbor I'd just had a little sleepover with and another dude who randomly shows up and I've been having sleepovers with him too. (Note: both of them would eventually tell me all about some chick they like).  Anyway, this kid is 24 and is a mess and of course I click with him. We become facebook friends. He likes over 50 of my pictures at 4am one night. It's me in male form.  Then he texts me everyday at around 2am to see what I'm doing. And in case you were wondering, I was sleeping all those times.  Anyway, we decided we were going to hang out. I told him I'm available at 6:30 and at 6:30 he calls and is like uh, I am finishing a project then have dinner plans, can we hang at like 9? Excuse me? I think you are confused, I am supposed to be your priority. And I am hungry. Fuck. So I go to dinner with the rooms and then he texts and is like let's meet at 9. I say where. He says his house because he has good beer. Somehow, I know where he is trying to take this and I'm not down, dude. I need you to pay for things first. It's like a prostitute. Anyway, I arrive around 9 and we listen to underground hip hop. For literally like 2 hours. Then we watch weird movie trailers because that is normal? Oh and then we slow dance to John Mayer in his bedroom. I'm kind of drunk and I like John Mayer. Want to hook up?? Oh wait, he asks me to stay and then we pass out and don't even make out. Cool.

Tonight I have a date with a guy that my roommate used to make out with. He is a 1st grade teacher. And a pot head. And kind of gangster. Clearly this is going to probably be love. Why the fuck can't I just date normal dudes. Monday night guy was normal. Why did I not like him? Oh, that's right because he isn't interesting. Fuck me. I need to get a grip.